How to Feel

feel.gif She walks onto stage from the left direction. Or maybe she walks onto the stage from the right. Maybe she’ll fly onto stage, attached hideously by transparent wires. Maybe she’ll appear out of nowhere, or so you’ll think.

She’s going to walk placidly and elegantly. She’s going to walk like a walking, swaying coconut tree from Cuba. Or she’s going to walk like a stoic tiger with such majestic marching and a powerful face. Maybe she’s going to walk with shaking knees, barely supporting her body, as she breaks down into a fountain of woe onto the hard, oak floors.

Regardless of where or how she’s going to walk onto stage, she’s going to sing, chant, dance, or dictate your life to you; if only you could write it for her.

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The Footer Fix

Ever have that pesky footer that never seems to sit on the bottom tip of the page because the focusing content is shorter than the navigation? You may want to fix such a problem, but perhaps you may not want to make horrendously long gaps between your footer and your content, and you may not want to use crazy javascript doo-dads just to get the same effect. Look no further! I shall explain, with just simple, logical fragments of codes on how to make your footer as fluid as the height of your design.

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How-to Give a Damn (Or Pretend to)

Ever go to work and bump into this one person who talks about everything possible, like what they did seven minutes ago, or how bad their life “really” is, and you’re the type that hates to inflict negative attention? Look no further! In a few more character lines, you will learn many techniques to get yourself back on the “faking-it” streamline! You’ll never feel so lie-prone in your life as you will now!

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The Dummies Guide on How-To "bring Sexyback"

Obviously, according to the master of the “Sexyback”, the “motherf**kers don’t know how to act”. So, being his proud spokesman (unofficially, of course), I have created a how-to guide on how to “bring Sexyback” in a comprehensive, easy-to-use chronological presentation, completely free for view! (ISP charges not included).

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