my invitation

drowsy contemplation
do i let you in
this is my invitation
but how do I begin?


It’s really just one of those days not even French poetry would properly describe.


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My So-Called Life XIV: Things I want to do (before I die)

  • Play horn and trumpet again
  • Learn to play the piano
  • Become a pharmacist
  • Be able to live in a little humble house without the picketed fence. Or an apartment.
  • Pay off my student loans
  • Research
  • Watch Canada turn into a completely diverse country, and have children that won’t have to debate if they like being a hyphenated Chinese or not.
  • Visit India. Gaya, if I’m safe to. Kashmir, Kolkata/Calcutta, wherever it may be.
  • Visit Thailand, or Iceland, or both. Or everywhere.
  • Marriage
  • Become a professor.
  • Learn what really happened to the Hakka.
  • Learn how to speak Hakka. Mandarin and Cantonese too. Can add Japanese as well.
  • Learn how to speak French and Spanish fluently.
  • Own a cat I’m not going to bust out in hives with.
  • Find or see a true panacea for cancer
  • Grow old with someone that will actually love me back.
  • Find a ring with some sentimentality behind it
  • Find a job that’s actually related to what I’m studying.
  • Know that I could save a life
  • Find more ambience
  • Lose weight. Again.
  • Find courage to be alive, at the very least.
  • Create an elaborate, beautiful web design for once.
  • Create a library of books. Not just literature.
  • Meet Sarah McLachlan and Skye Edwards
  • Have the confidence and the body to actually go to the beach
  • Not be afraid of bodies of water
  • Not be afraid of spiders
  • Be able to play a sport
  • Learn how to cook outside of stirfrying and steaming
  • Eat wontons my mom and dad used to make
  • Sex irrespectively (oh how crass)
  • Not feel fatigued
  • Sleep
  • Bungee jump
  • See what the USA really is about.

Is that too much to ask?


“People change.”

It surprised me to realise how freely words flow between my teeth, like a overflowing dam facing a greater reservoir of ears.

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