Voukah [Voo-kah]; home

spoon-fed

Let them spoon-feed you all that nutritious goodness. ‘momma’s going to pamper you a good few years before you’re set off, yet again, with your free figures dangling like a fucking broken branch.

Run free, dear children. Run free. You’ll find yourself running the cycles over and over again, like your dirty clothes in the electronic washer. Who knows if it’ll bring you back to the old washboards and the maiden that dirties her hands with hard soap and dirty water.

And you’ll screw it all up. And you’ll screw for nights on end.

Animal.

Wake up.

It’s a world. Does it have blue skies? Maybe grey. Or perhaps we’re living in at the bottom of the sea, looking up.

But can we take the shadows that may one day cast themselves upon us?

Don’t feel so confident. You can’t even take it when you feel like your money is being threatened. You can take the shadows if you are apathetic when your wife or husband is fucking someone other than you on a constant basis.

You can’t, you won’t, but a lot of times you want to deny it. You’re human, but you’re sleeping.

Wake up.

Life is difficult.
Life hates you.
Life hates me.
Life really doesn’t care what happens. If it wants to make you feel miserable,

it will.

For every gain that you achieve another person is at loss. Everything you lose is a gain for someone else.

It’s not always a bad thing, you selfish bastard.

We don’t like to cast shadows all the time, but we will. The heavens give rise to shadows with the light it provides. Theologically speaking.

We lust for light. We lust for sex. We lust for attention. We lust.

Why must we always lust? Why are we so filled with it?

We are the shadows we cast.

Disgusting.

Mobile… again

After 5 days of endless hacking, purchasing of domain, and designing two designs at once, Aquanica.Net is now safe for view! (That is, if anyone bothers to visit it)

Everything except Voukah is not available to see just yet (I don’t have anything. Just have the design set up). I’ll get around to it hopefully within two weeks (just need to set more plugins and hacks to make sure everything runs properly).

It’s crazy what PHP can do nowadays, especially with the scripts that are out there. Well beyond what I had to work with when I was 14. More sophisticated, but much, much more versatile and extensive. It’s amazing.

Anyhow, quite a few things have come up since Aquanica came into existence again.

Last week I had a minor surgery, let’s say. Nothing serious, but I was pretty much out for a week. What it was… well. I don’t want to get into any details. But something I did learn during then – codeine gives you the worst constipation ever. I snarl at my dad for feeding me T3’s last week.

I also managed to find a job – today was training. It wasn’t much training seeing how all I’m doing is lifting shit and watering plants. And ringing purchases in. That’s about it. By the end of the day, I was covered in top soil, every possible manure they sold, water and cedar mulch. By the end of it, I stank like soggy, woody shit (quite literally). Dirty job, but I like it. Also something to note – marigolds stink like a rotting skunk. It was nice to take a huge waft as I was moving them around.

Cancelled my FFXI account for now. Could save the money for school and stuff seeing how I don’t want to overbear myself with debt.

Uh. And I’ve gotten into wearing shorts again? Feels somewhat unusual seeing how I never do, but I decided to try them on today. Hope I didn’t blind people with my pale white legs.

What the fuck am I talking about, I haven’t the slightest clue.

I’m exhausted, I smell like shit, and I’m still a little revved up because WordPress wasn’t cooperating with me for a bit. Yeah, what a hard life.

and mr. cruz, i hope you choke on that fucking pasta you’re eating.

my (anti)life

for 6 years of my life, this is all i have to show for it.

a fake
digitalised
cluster of pixels
that reflect where i wish i lived, in the life i wish i was in.

how childish and fantasy-like.

i’m not totally ready to let go, but it’ll come one day.

it wasn’t a wasted childhood as you might think. sometimes when you know reality is cruel, drenching your soul in absolute bliss of phantasmagoria and complexity is really the only choice you have.

nostalgic? perhaps.

untitled 2

green, luscious green. taste it with your fingers; feel it with your tongue. can you hear it through your nostrils? or can you smell it with your heart?

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