the industrial arabesque

Like the feathers of angels falling from a blanched, but vanilla sky, the view from out this window made me think whatever gods, goddesses and spirits are out there decided to give a small shake to our little snow globe of a world that we live in.

I originally wanted to take a picture of the snowfall this afternoon, but later decided to take all of those pictures I had and create a blend/distortion/manipulation (what have you) out of it.

It’s been a while since I’ve done something like this. Happened on the spur of moment.

I hope Christmas turns out as calm and beautiful as the view. You can shake up the world, but I’ll preoccupy myself with the organic photography of my retina while they all duke it up on their own.

Allegro non Troppo

After conning myself of my final exam for my “Health Systems in Society” class, I’ve felt that sudden onset of nostalgia again. It was more like nostalgia of what I was able to do when I was in high school, and what freedom in interests I had when I was a teenager. Then after hearing some stranger practicing what sounded like an etude on a piano, in a music room, I began to remember what my passions were as a musician. Never would I have thought such thirst would be reawakened again.

I’ve begun to think about getting lessons for horn again. I’ve never actually had private lessons before, but I did try to search for a teacher – that, however, never took flight. I was never quite sure why, though, and maybe this time it’ll turn out a flop too. But to think that I would have the capabilities of producing organic music, although under-appreciated in these times of artificial bass and electronic riffs, would be like a kiss from a seraph; you never really know what it’d feel like until it killed you.

At the same time, what about the other things I could try to learn? What exactly is my innate “talent”, or so people like to call them, and why can’t I see any? Perhaps I don’t have any, or perhaps I just don’t realise any of them. I think I’m more prone to believing the former.

At the very least, I suppose, I should just appreciate that such things are out there to create what separates us from other animals – manufactured art. Instead of creating art out of what nature gives us, we can create art with our minds. That is the only anthropological ability that we have which surpasses nature, yet it’s the same reason that destroys our own kind.

If, say, we didn’t have art, would we have the capabilities of disrupting the peace of mind, or mastering the “art of manipulation”? The ability for us to create and design new things can really push us forward, but it can also be the same thing that decimates us: we have the art of descriptive literature, but yet the art of serial murdering. It’s like a societal tumour – you know it will kill you one day, but it reawakens appreciation for what life offers and tunes your mind to the delicacies of varying emotion and melancholy. The most beautiful paintings and compositions come from the masochistic pain of humans, and the sadistic mind of the audience.

‘To take pleasure from others’ pain – hah, that sounds just about right. Humans are sadists and masochists alike, whether or not they admit it – it’s what keeps us alive.

Suspension

Take a look at me, being all poser-like taking pictures of random things and actually uploading them. I guess that was my original intent when I said I wanted a camera. A tiny bit saddened that I wasn’t the one who paid for it, though – I got it as a present. Things like that still make me feel a little bit guilty inside.

Throughout the day I’ve been flipping and tossing around these two suspension vials, and once in a while sniffing the paediatrics vial (the amber-coloured one) – I put blackberries as a flavourant. For the medications I’ve taken as a kid, I would’ve loved medicine that tasted like blackberries rather than some sad excuse of what they dare label “cherry”. It would just taste like a bottle of bleach (not that I’ve actually drank any). But what’s more fun is watching that clear bottle of Methocel go from an evenly dispersed placebo suspension to an amalgamated catastrophe of air and suspending agent. It goes to show how much I like to take my stress out on a bunch of suspensions. Wish I could make more of this stuff – just for fun and decoration.

I’ve been studying on and off for the day, and I’m obviously not going to beat the bush; I’ve been procrastinating. I do have an exam tomorrow (technically) and right now (now being 3AM in the morning) I’ve spent most time installing shit for my camera to work, and thereby deciding that I have way too much shit on my camera’s SD card. Went ahead and formatted the shit out of the card and put all of the pictures on this old computer with the other pictures I have. I need to remind myself to do a complete backup of this stuff again, just in case. Like mom and dad used to always say, “never take unnecessary risks”.

Speaking of risks, I think it’s time that I start applying to places for my practical experience thing. I don’t mind working – in fact, sometimes I actually like going to work. I just don’t like the intricacies of “applying” because that’s when you know people like to see fake smiling and false promises. Wouldn’t you find it just as scary to be hiring people based on how well they present themselves rather than what skills they really have? Funny how humans function on deception. No, not inception.

Oh well, I guess I should get some sleep. Need to start studying all this shit over and over again. It’s not that I don’t like it – I just get tired of having to see the same thing continuously for days. It’s sort of like that friend that doesn’t leave you alone – well, I haven’t felt that feeling since grade 3, but I’m sure a lot of other people get that feeling. Makes me wonder if I’m turning into a hermit of some kind.

Like it matters, really.

Design?

Yeah.

That’s right. I dished out money to buy books. I think it’s time I actually start doing something about web-designing, because I’ve been treating it like my least favourite child. It just turns out that having any background in web design is coming handy for a lot of situations, namely pursuing my career.

It’s somewhat strange to think that I would need any knowledge in HTML, CSS and PHP in the pharmacy world – I was thinking I’d be playing around with syringes, pills, mortars and pestles for the rest of my life, but I’ve found myself writing the <head> tag countless times.

I guess it goes to show how the least relevant experience isn’t always useless. I was always told having the ability to design (somewhat) and know HTML like it’s my mother’s tongue would never come in handy in anything but the computer science world. Take a look at CAPSI, for example. I would never have thought I’d get a position as a “webmaster” (I hate using that term; it just blankets all web development and design into one role as some minute detail), seeing how I would have assumed computer knowledge was fairly ubiquitous.

I wonder if that will ever change. Is web designing really that rare in a Web 2.0 society? Should we not be so in-tune with the intricacies of the internet and its darkest corners if we’re becoming that attached to information technology?

It becomes frightening to think that, despite so many people using computers, only a fraction know anything about how they work; that’s not to say I expect everyone who uses a computer to be a developer of some sort, but rather the majority don’t seem to know what they’re actually using. Does that not put the ignorant at hazard for manipulation or, more specifically, prone to harm on their intellectuality or privacy?

The philosophy of technology could get interesting. But what it really boils down to is – are we controlling information, or is information controlling us?

Hah, what bull. For now.

Whatever. All I really wanted to say was that I want to do something different for Voukah this time. And Aquanica. The designs I have up are pretty patchwork and effortless. I want to actually try this time.