My So-Called Life XII: Why I'd marry myself

  1. When it’s my birthday, I never have to worry if I’ll like the gift I bought or not. I’d know exactly what I want.
  2. I’d never forget my anniversary.
  3. When it comes time to live as a couple, I would only need to set a table for one.
  4. I’d share the same music tastes with myself, and they’ll change at the same time. I wouldn’t need to fool myself into thinking I’d like my spouse’s music tastes.
  5. I only need to buy one wedding ring, and it can be as cheap or expensive as I want it to be.
  6. I’m my own childhood friend, and my own childhood sweetheart.
  7. I can hold my own hand if I want to, whenever I want to.
  8. Through it all, we’d both end up on the same boat all the time.
  9. I can’t be a hypocrite of myself unless I want to.
  10. I won’t need to pay a phone bill to talk to myself.
  11. I can’t cheat on myself, and would never want to anyways.
  12. If I’m on a business trip, or if I want to go somewhere far to live, I won’t object myself. If it’s another year at school, I’d push myself to go.
  13. I’ll be a good listener to myself. And I would never leave myself with a cold shoulder when I need someone most.
  14. My sexual requests would not seem awkward to myself. I’d be thinking the same thing.
  15. I can treat myself with what I’ve wanted all my life, whenever I want to, and I won’t have to worry that I won’t like it or complain I don’t know myself.
  16. Shared bank accounts wouldn’t sound like a bad idea at all.
  17. I’d be the first one to pat myself on the back after a job well done.
  18. I’d share the same interests and have the same hobbies, working the same job.
  19. When I cry, I’d be my own shoulder to lean on.
  20. I can speak my own esoteric language and not have to pretend I understand.
  21. I won’t have to wait by the phone and hope I’m okay. I’m right there.
  22. I’d laugh at my own jokes and would never be afraid to say things to myself thinking I’d offend myself.
  23. I’d say all the right things.
  24. If I laugh at my own sentimentality, then I’d understand why.
  25. If I argued with myself, I’d know exactly what I’m thinking.
  26. I don’t need to be shy about myself. I would tolerate any of my bad habits, and happily change what I can’t.
  27. I could badmouth myself and not feel betrayed.
  28. I’m my own toughest, but most important critic.
  29. I can’t hide secrets from myself. I also cannot lie.
  30. My parents would approve that I’d sleep in the same room with myself.
  31. We’d have mutual friends, and through it all won’t suspect infidelity.
  32. We don’t need the body language to communicate. We have the highest dimension of cognition to rely on.
  33. If there’s talk about the future and family, we’d both have the perfect idea for ourselves.
  34. If I need to pull an all-nighter, I’d stay awake for myself to keep myself company.
  35. We would die at the same time, for the same reason. We would never need to mourn for each other.
  36. I’d never divorce myself, pack my bags, and walk out the door saying I didn’t care about myself. I’d know I was fooling myself and trying would be pointless.

I’d make my own perfect husband. Will I marry me?

I do.