it’s too quiet

even if you pray your life away,
even if you study until your mind becomes the next manifestation of a tomb,
even if you try to love someone from head to toe, straight to the teeth and sliver of the bone,
even if you aim at that target for hours to get that one bullseye you wanted,
even if you buy the most expensive bag, electronic, toy, or whatever the fuck you like,
even if you tan yourself until your skin reeks of melanoma,
even if you watch the million hours of hopeless romantic movies or gut-lashing action,
even if you fuck everything that walks,
even if you write novels and novels of what you perceive is the most useless shit you’ve ever worked with,
even if you abused yourself until you found ecstasy,
even if you work your muscles until you’re about to eviscerate from sheer exhaustion,
even if you lick the asses of your assets like you’re on an M&M binge,
even if you earned those extra 2046 points from that quest you completed on Wednesday,
even if you cut yourself until it bleeds buckets, you fucking masochist,
even if you fake smile until your lips bled mercury,
even if you clean your house like gutting a squirrel from inside out and inverting its skin,
even if you try to live the most honest life you can possibly live like a fucking fool,
even if you sleep your life away,
even if you drop everything to make that killing,
even if you ramble on for hours,
even if you already sold your soul to the devil,
even if you’re dead,

sometimes you’re just that invariably invisible to the world.