Crooked smile

Hello, pseudo-mornings.
Hello, pseudo-days.
Hello, psuedo-breakfast.
Hello, pseudo-friends.
Hello, pseudo-sex.
Hello, pseudo-life.

To live is strange. These plastered smiles and proposed meanings of life, all we need to sleep easy at night and wake up without much care except our superficial, naive life. We eat our breakfast like arrogant slobs too good for our own skin; we wet our lips and create an incredible ability to control pressure and suction using our own insignificant, ubiquitous forms, all wasted for that superficial kiss; we fuck only because our supposed biology supposedly tells us we just have to, and there’s nothing we can do about it; we laugh and fascinate ourselves with lies to get us to some superficial goal, whether we truly want to or not. Stop making excuses. Stop living a lie. Stop bringing me into this vortex. I don’t want to be perfect.

I don’t want to be free of faults and to feel better out of my skin. I don’t want to be better than everyone else, and I don’t want anyone else to abase me. I just want to be that spoiled little brat that knew little enough to notice that he was never wanted in the first place but indulged in his few seconds of fame and fragments of makeshift appreciation anyway. I want to be the one that can see right through that pessimistic tunnel, fortified by your little fake rainbows. I want to be the one that pierces through your consciousness and makes you realise what you’ve decided to make yourself. Stop lying to me. I can smell it in your stench.

No. We won’t take responsibility for your actions. We won’t take responsibility if you slip and fall in a gutter of filth. No. we won’t be held responsible for what we did to you. No. We won’t be held responsible for loosening every screw within you and shattering you pitifully. No. We won’t be held responsible for helping you realise how miserable we are, and how eager we want your life to be worse than ours. No. We won’t.

I’m so tired of this mentality.

Let me sleep, for my own spirit’s sake.

The night is gold. I’d only wear silver.

I’m not sorry. I swear.