there’s a reason why i’m quiet.

it’s cold

it’s 10 degrees below freezing, at least in my own skin.
toes feel numb.
heart feels frozen.
mind is arrested.
not even this weather can defrost me.
not even if i’d become half baked.
eyes becoming crystal ice.
teeth becoming decalcified.
words stopping abruptly before completing a word.
not even the warmest embrace.
not even you.


three splinters since i started this job.

most timber spikes i’ve had stuck under my skin for my past 21 years.

fucking inefficient broom.


Let them spoon-feed you all that nutritious goodness. ‘momma’s going to pamper you a good few years before you’re set off, yet again, with your free figures dangling like a fucking broken branch.

Run free, dear children. Run free. You’ll find yourself running the cycles over and over again, like your dirty clothes in the electronic washer. Who knows if it’ll bring you back to the old washboards and the maiden that dirties her hands with hard soap and dirty water.

And you’ll screw it all up. And you’ll screw for nights on end.


Wake up.

It’s a world. Does it have blue skies? Maybe grey. Or perhaps we’re living in at the bottom of the sea, looking up.

But can we take the shadows that may one day cast themselves upon us?

Don’t feel so confident. You can’t even take it when you feel like your money is being threatened. You can take the shadows if you are apathetic when your wife or husband is fucking someone other than you on a constant basis.

You can’t, you won’t, but a lot of times you want to deny it. You’re human, but you’re sleeping.

Wake up.

Life is difficult.
Life hates you.
Life hates me.
Life really doesn’t care what happens. If it wants to make you feel miserable,

it will.

For every gain that you achieve another person is at loss. Everything you lose is a gain for someone else.

It’s not always a bad thing, you selfish bastard.

We don’t like to cast shadows all the time, but we will. The heavens give rise to shadows with the light it provides. Theologically speaking.

We lust for light. We lust for sex. We lust for attention. We lust.

Why must we always lust? Why are we so filled with it?

We are the shadows we cast.